quick joke for you all

Courtesy of my fiancée -


A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 note fell out onto the footpath.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Madam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. " Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium car park.

On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it? ' So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O. K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

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Thanks
Clive

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Been waiting for a use for this...

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cheers Steve
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Excellent

We need some good jokes to brighten up a cold, dull Monday.

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oh haha you make me laugh! thx

lol

Made my laugh for the day, thanks!

I heard a cracker this morning, Friday Feeling and all that..

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

I can't think of a suitable smiley...

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Nick
Dynabrade Tools and Accessories In The UK - DynaShop

Yes, excellent. There's not much that would get in the way of a game of golf!

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funny

really very funny